...at a shopping mall near YOU... (well, Woden Plaza actually) ...the mince pies and tinned plum duff have hit the shelves as the mercury soars in the Widely Browned-Off Land. Time to cower in the coolth of the Mall and listen to curious cultural imports from the freezin' season half a world away: In the Bleak Midwinter, Jingle Bells, Drive the Cold Winter Away... Once again, sweaty Santas are girding themselves in the red shellsuit and wellies and assuming the position in grottos from Geraldton to Gerringong. And we're coming to set the whole thing to music! Bagpipes, hurdy-gurdies (recently de-criminalised in our libertarian Capital Territory) saxophones, bodhrans and other blunt instruments will be inserting seasonal sounds into Woden Plaza to encourage people to Buy Lots Of Stuff, while the Bordonian Heritage Dancers provide a splendidly costumed and choreographed distraction from the awful noise. A Regency Rumble: 10.30 am to 12.30pm, December 23rd.